I've got to talk to my Husband a few days ago and it was nice to hear his voice. The kids got to talk to him this time too witch was good for all of them. This is only the second time in three months that he has been able to talk to the kids.
I was telling my Husband about a bike run i'm going to be going on this Saturday it's the S.O.B Run and about a bike that I saw and would like to get for myself. He asked me how much it was so I told him. There was a short pause on the phone and then he says so are you going to go buy it this weekend. I told him no I was just letting him know that I liked it was looking at trying to buy something right know, so my Husband being who he is says if you want it and we can afford it get it.

My friend told me today when I was telling her about that I should know that he would give me anything I wanted. I thought, that that was funny. See the only thing I ever wanted from him is his love and for him to always be faithful to me and he has already been unfaithful to me. But we have been working on things so I wont open up any old wounds.

We do try to get each other anything we want or need the same goes for our kids. I just wish I could have more of him. For I like having him home and in our bed, it's nice to wake up with him there. He just wish I could sleep when his home, because he knows I don't really sleep when his gone. Even though it would been nice to have him home more, I new he was military when we were dating and when we got married so that doesn't really bother me. See I don't mind being alone or being only raising the kids. Sometimes I get so pulled into just staying in my room and letting the Kids have the rest of the house I forget that there home, until they come in the room to talk to me. They are really good kids. It scares me to think what it will be like with my Husband home after he retires and we have to share a house. See we are so different in so many ways that it's funny to are friends when there around us, but that is something altogether different.

Any way only two days left of summer school...thank havens. The kids and the teacher I have to drive is driving my crazy. But anyway I guess I should get off and get ready for bed because in a few hours I will need to be getting up to get ready to go to work.

To all of those that are Serving there Country Thank You and a Major Thank You to all the Spouse and there Children.

14 June 2010

I got to talk to my Husband today, it was so good to hear his voice. The man can drive me crazy (sexually) with his voice or just look or even a touch. He thinks I'm making it up about how he can drive me crazy that way. Even if I'm mad at him and I don't want to be turned on because I want to hang on to my anger all he has to do look at me and I'm ready to go to bed with him. What can I say I guess I'm easy when comes to him.

He will be coming home for his week R&R next month and I can't wait. It will be good for the kids to see there DAD. I think it will also make it hard when his leave is up and the kids have to by again to him. I know it will be hard on him as well and I'm not going to be happy with it either but it's what he has to do.

I try to not let it get to me, I mean he was in the army when we meat so I knew what I was getting into. Even though it is hard I am very proud of him for he is a great solider (father, and Husband) I need to tell him that more. For me it's hard with how much he keeping going over there because it dose change him a little more each time. My fear is that he will come back like my dad did from Vietnam (violent). So fare the only thing that has change it doesn't take him long to get upset and his driving (road rage). But other than that all is ok. I try not to push his buttons when he is getting up set but it's hard for me I'm not one who likes to back down. It comes from having a father who like to hit not just my mom but also me. Some say it was my own doing because I would step in front of my mom or run my mouth at him. To me backing to shows fear or weakness. Me I think so times I'm just to stupid to know when to let something go. My Mom says that I'm hard headed and don't like to feel like someone is trying to push me around or walk over me. Maybe she's right, I don't want to be helpless like she was or like she felt. I don't blame my Mom for me getting hit, for that was all me I should of stayed out of adult stuff. I have two older bothers how were smart enough to stay out of it.

That's all I feel like I need to bleed out for now.

Ride

Went on a poker run today to help a friend who has cancer. Me being me didn't even know that he had cancer until yesterday. But it was good to be on the run and see him and his family the only bad thing is that he wife told me that there is no cure for his type of cancer that there just trying to slow it down. I really hope that they can find a cure for him. He seemed in good sprites witch was good.

For me it was nice to be out on a bike even though I was on the back. See I have my own bike, but not feeling to good to ride my own plus I haven't had much ride time yet. Never a good ideal to try to do something your not ready for because not only could you get hurt but so could other people. Got sun burnt but it's ok because being on a bike was so nice.

I haven't heard from my Husband for over a week maybe longer it's had to keep up with. So times I don't know if he really did call or if it was just in my dreams that I talked to him. Can't wait for him to get home for good.

Thanks again for letting me bleed a little again tonight.

rain

Today was rainy and moggy the type of day that made you feel sleepy all day. Witch makes it hell if you drive a bus, because then it's hot and your windows are all foggy and if you open a window it rains all over you. Like I said it's hell when it rains. The day has gone by slow for today and I guess all is well for my husband. I haven't heard from him in a few days so I guess he is busy witch is good for him. It will help his days go by faster. There's not much on my mind tonight witch means not much bleeding that I need to do tonight.

Cleaning out my head

I'm a military wife and a mother of two great kids(one girl & one boy). My Husband is over in Iraq for the fifth time(witch he has volunteered to do each time). I drive a school bus witch is ok.

I don't mind what my Husband is doing I just wish he would spend more time with me and the kids. We have been married for Fifteen years and only been togather about five of those years maybe six. But it's not bad most of the time. Spending time with my kids is great I love being a mom it's just I know there dad is missing out on so much.

It worries me with him being over there not so much about the fact that somthing could happen to him, please don't get me wrong I LOVE MY HUSBAND with all my Heart and I would be hurt if anything ever happened to him. It's more of him getting on the internet that worries me. See we or I should say he has a thing about creating new accounts and actting like his not married or has any kids, but he tell women that he is looking for someone to have a family with. He has done this four times when he has been over there and ever time he goes back over there he says it will never happen again but it dose. If you think he told me about doing these things you would be wrong. Lets just say i'm good at find things out when it comes to checking the history of his computer. I pray that he dosen't do anything this time, because I told him that if he dose it again then it will be over. He told me that he dosen't want to lose me or the kids so I have nothing to worry about (I hope he's telling the truth).

Anyway that is just alittle bleeding that I needed to do. Have a good day or night what ever the case may be.